December 2010
32 posts
it really frustrates me how much i can’t understand- how much im not allowed to understand. there are so many ways of life that i will never experience. even if i try, i can’t cause to really understand it would have to be the only thing iv ever known. i can’t understand what its like to be black or indian or native american or japanese. i just can’t. but i want to. so...
why does it have to be like this? i feel like everything is crumbling around me. my friends are avoiding me, and the ones who arent obviously doing it are very deliberately keeping me at arms length- and they want me to know it. i pick up their calls at 3 in the morning when they get dumped or their parents fight or their sibling is annoying the fuck out of them, but they wont even text me back...
while im on this rant i would like to say that i have no fucking idea who i am anymore, and its really scary. there isnt a single thing about me that i feel like isnt “acting”. i dont know what i like- i know what the me i want to be likes. i mean, i can think back to specific people and instances that changed my life forever. its scary how little control i have. i could have been so...
likeloversdarling:
teen—angst:
I’m beginning to realize that none of my friends ever ask me if I’m okay or even anything about my life. They all just sit down and start talking and I just sit there listening to everything that’s going on with them and asking questions. But they never do the same for me. I guess it’s partially my fault, I have so many god damn walls up.
You might regret putting an end to something that...
when you really like someone but you know it'll...
yougetnolovex3:
You’re my first real thought of the day, you’re the last thing on my mind when I go to bed. Everything in between is meaningless without you. Tell me how I’m supposed to live this way?
“I thought you were too screwed up to love anyone. I was wrong; you just couldn’t...”
– (via iamasomebody)
i carry you with me
i will carry you with me every day for the rest of my life. i fought it at first, but i have come to accept it as a face of life. No matter how hard i push away your memory, it remains seared in my mind. Even when the pain subsides and i drift into a peaceful haze, you are always there, in the back of my mind, waiting to pop up when i least want you to. You are the reason i can’t sleep. the reason...
I need someone to talk to. :/
Getting used to the cold, lonely life.